Bangkok Times pt. 2

Splish Splash

Safety is the number one concern (clearly)

....So i'm not sure where I was exactly when I left off, but this is what the long-tail boats look like when there coming at you (wasting no time as you can see), and to the right you'll see a view of the inside.  Notice the blue tarps suspended along either periphery (on either side of the drums of diesel).  These are lowered when you come to one of the piers, and strung up by pulley when in transit to keep the boggish canal water from splashing into your face.  They're only partially effective..

A very brave Thai man, watching the world go by

All in all, though, the boats were really a fun time, and once the novelty wore off, they were just our primary means of transportation.  It's amazing how in a matter of just a few weeks something as exciting as vaulting onto a half-moored boat over miry water, packed to the brim with Thais, will become commonplace, moving even toward mundane.  Oo but I forgot to mention one tidbit that kept me on my toes: from time to time, the roof of the boat, a steal and rubber construction, would pitch down and forward without warning so as to pass beneath the lower lying bridges.  It only took one clack on the head from a steel pipe to keep me on the lookout for all the commuters simultaneously bowing their heads.

A typical boat-stop... the guy hanging off the side leaps out,
wraps a rope around the vertical metal pole, waits just a second then they're off again.

  If I can remember my metaphor, I was talking about the strata of Bangkok's transportation network.  I've covered the subway (immaculate) and the klorng in Khlong Saen Saeb (the commuter boats and our canal, respectively), which must mean I've arrived at Bangkok's most visible, vibrant, and altogether audacious aspect, it's streets.  The streets, in a word, are packed.  Packed with taxis, packed with motorbikes zipping frenetically between cars, packed with tuk-tuks (which are basically three wheeled, motorized rickshaws), packed with private vehicles, and astounding number of which are luxury-type models, packed with city buses, private buses, minivans for hire, basically every mode of wheeled motorized transport you can fathom.

High-risk photo

  The thing about Bangkok transit is that when someone sees a farang like me, they immediately assume they can fleece you for a couple hundred extra baht.  It took a week or so to realize that instead of haggling prices with taxi drivers, it was best just to demand they use the meter, which often met with steadfast refusal and subsequent door-slamming.  Sometimes you'd have to try four or five taxis before you found a driver who played by the rules, but this was never really an issue due to their seemingly endless abundance.  Somebody told me the reason for the plentiful supply is that a few years back, the king opened up the market and allowed whoever so desired to drive a taxi; thus the bandwagon was born, and the masses leapt on.  Oh, and a lot of them are bright pink, which Jaclyn and I found pretty cool, too.

Some cabs had rather explicit "not permitted" graphics:
No assault rifles, no machetes, no mad cow disease.......

Pink cab

So then there are these things called tuk-tuks, which I'm fairly certain are unique to Thailand (don't quote me on that one).  They're these little open air cabs that cater mainly to tourists.  You can tell by their exorbitant prices, and by the fact that you only ever see white people riding in them.  A ride on one of these things is a lot like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, just with more exhaust fumes.  They're really quite fun, though, so much so that I tried to take one for myself (with no success, unfortunately).  All in all (have I used that expression already?) , they're fast, fun, and a definite necessity for any trip to Bangkok.

This is pretty much what the world looks like when you're
riding in one of these things.

They also employ another form of taxi transport, via moto-bike drivers in bright orange vests.  You'll see these weaving through rush hour traffic with business types riding in the back seat, ladies riding side saddle with aplomb, hands floating freely, high heels dangling precariously inches above the unforgiving asphalt.  Unfortunately, I had an experience with just how unforgiving that asphalt is. While on a bus in the town of Ayuthaya, we happened upon a gruesome accident appearing to have transpired only moments before.  I won't go into gruesome detail, instead I'll make the abominably ignoble pun that my fanciful hopes of taking a ride on a moto-taxi weren't the only things dashed that day.  I apologize for the contemptible word play, but in all honesty it was an incident of horrific circumstance and even more horrific result, and I've been finding myself anonymously wishing the best and giving heartfelt condolences to any and all of the victims affected by that tragedy.

  Moving forward (and feeling luc for it), another of the street level transportation systems is the public busses.  These things are almost as prevalent as the taxis and tuk-tuks, if not more so, at least in terms of sheer bulk.  These behemoths will whiz by mere inches from the sidewalks (as a pedestrian you've got to keep your elbows tucked in. Seriously).  I only took one inner-city bus trip in Bangkok, and it was one too many.  More often than not, the busses go without air-con, they are generally packed to the brim, and assuming you manage to properly interpret the haphazard route/bus numbering system and make it onto the appropriate conveyance, you're going to do more sitting in traffic than proceeding to your destination.  They're cheap as dirt, though; they do have that going for them.

  Last but not least, on the highest strata of Bangkok transportation (barring airplanes, of course) is the sky-train (ala Springfield of the Simpsons).  This thing isn't all that impressive really, basically a suspended subway, but it truly is a marvel of engineering.  In a city where they take full advantage of, and in fine fashion, the powers of concrete, this truly is the apex of their efforts.  Ian, if you're reading this thing, these pictures are for you (if you've not Ian, feel free to enjoy them anyway:

This is a spot where three railways converge.
Impressive, no? The things with railings are large,
 interconnected aerial train stations slash crosswalks.
The train is the blue thing, top left.  

Now that's what I call structural integrity.

  This concludes my long winded, undeniably ostentatious dissection of Bangkok's transportation system.  Hopefully you managed to find some morsel in the mire to justify your taking the time to read; if not, then you can keep your comments to your self, thank you very much.  I think I've fairly well exhausted the subject, but I'll be sure to add anything I may have forgotten.

  Speaking of things I've forgotten, I did a lot of ranting in Part 1 about the infinite purchasing opportunities and the congested sidewalks of a typical Bangkok street.  Here is a prime example of what I mean:

 
  And with that, I bid you Sawadee krap!